Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm terrified! This is something I've wanted all my life. As I was sleeping surrounded by piles of books and nestled into my nooks I was sure I would always be a dreamer. Me? Travel? Ha! I couldn't even wake up on time for school let alone traverse a place where I didn't know the language! And then Couchsurfing and River tubing and Jessica and Deryl and Cameron...oh, I won't revisit that again. Most of you know that story and those of you reading this who don't I'm not sure if I know you well enough to share those precious memories. =p
I'm terrified because I'm so ecstatic. Aside from the Cambridge program I've never cared that much about anything in my life. Well, I've always had an eye on the future. "My life sucks now and I have no friends? I get beaten up in middle school? High school will be better! Crippling psychological, religious, and social scars from High School? College will be better! College ain't all it's cracked up to be? Well, at least you have friends now and graduate school and the work force will be awesome!" Bullshit I say! I mean, it's all true but I can finally say "Puck the future! The now couldn't be better if I dreamed it!"
God. I really am doing what I want with my life. I mean, really and truly. My blood makes me light headed thinking about it because it let's out a roar of joy that I can feel from my toes to the pounding in my ears. All those people who inspired me to the point of tears? The people on the internet I'd read about or hear about through friends whose adventures made me sick with envy? I GET TO BE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I am going to Taiwan to reaffirm who I am, to find out who I will be, and I seek the person I am to be. I picture it as my Spirit Quest, Asian Style. Am I going to be the intrepid world traveler whose feet has a scrape from Rome, a blister from Chile, and a bunion from Kalamazoo? Or will I go and return with an unimaginably large grin on my face and say "I'm ready to be home?"
The nesting side of me is already bemoaning having to give up my little crevice I've carved out here on campus (all issues aside) but HALLELUJAH! I'll get rid of all the CRAP I've accumulated! I feel like Sarah from Labyrinth (starring David Bowie('scrotchcough) when she begins to get covered by the trappings of childhood and materialism. Traveling is my Ludo solution for pulling myself out from under the chaotic mess!
But yes, I'm procrastinating cleaning and the mundane that must be done to finish this semester. Ah reality, you cruel cruel mistress!
